


Plot? What plot?

by Tenbatch



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: But mostly fluff, Crack, Cuties, Fluff, M/M, Maybe angst, This is ridiculous, and maybe some smut, we'll see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-18
Packaged: 2018-01-18 19:20:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1439851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tenbatch/pseuds/Tenbatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is basially just a bunch of mormor drabbles. There will be mostly fluff and crack, but there might be smut when I'm brave enough to put it out there to the public. Basically first fics. Includes silly morning cuddles and Jim helping Bastian with his wardrobe. Hell, they're even going to paint eggs for easter. Will probably base most of them on the photos I have in my mormor folder. Enjoy xxx</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "You’re not going to tell me that you actually wear this."

**Author's Note:**

> inspiration: http://i.imgur.com/N3c02kx.jpg this damn photo

It was what, two days since his sniper moved in with him, and Jim was already appalled by the state of Sebastian’s wardrobe. It wasn’t like he hadn’t noticed the ugly sneakers before. Oh, and the obviously second(or fifth)-hand trousers that hardly ever matched. Not like anything the blond ever wore matched at all. It was just that when Sebastian moved his stuff to Jim’s flat, the younger man was constantly exposed to all the fashion crimes he commited every second he pulled anything out of his closet (along with himself tehee). It was like Narnia, but instead of another, amazing world, there was the clothing section of Walmart. God, it was hateful. Everything that came out of there made Jim toss his cookies. Oh, and as if that wasn’t enough – Sebastian had the nasty habit of leaving his dirty clothes behind everwhere he went. And god, did Jim hate that. Just seeing the clothes was one thing, but touching them? God forbid.

Three days later something snapped in him. It was either the sight of the spiteful khakis, or the high top Converse that Sebastian had the pleasure of sporting. Jim set his morning cup of tea aside and jolted from his chair straight to the sniper’s room, not caring at all about his unfinished work. It had to be done. He stormed into the room and headed for the wardrobe. The door flew open and he almost ripped the clothes off the hangers. He scanned one of the wrinkly shirts resting on his shoes and picked it up with a dark laugh.

„You’re not going to tell me that you actually wear this,” he turned to the blonde who ran into his own room right after his psycho boss, but didn’t dare protest as he tore his things apart. He was slowly getting used to it, actually. „This-„ Jim pointed, his lips curled into a frown „this should be considered a crime, Moran!” he screamed and threw the piece cloth at Sebastian. He caught it and placed it aside carefully, even though he never really cared about his clothes.

The criminal rummaged through the shirts and trousers, picking something up from time to time and handing it to Sebastian with a ‘ _Seriously?_ ’ face. Okay, it was more than from time to time. The frown hardly ever left his features.

Two hours later he was done and Sebastian was buried in a pile of mostly torn clothes. Jim had to make sure that they would _never_ get to be worn by anyone. Not even the homeless deserved to be wearing that.

„I want everything burned,” he demanded and stood up, holding up one plain v-neck like a trophy. It looked new and moderately clean, so Jim decided to leave it be. Maybe it would be some kind of a reminder of the ‘old, bad times’ that Sebastian’s distasteful style was supposed to be.

„I’m not going to burn my favourite clothes, boss,” he whined softly, glancing down at the smaller pile he put on the bed, even though he knew that it was no use. „Besides, what am I going to wear if we throw everything away? I can’t just walk around naked the entire time.”

„Well, Sebby,” he said with a wicked grin, turning to his sniper „it means that we need to go shopping.”


	2. morning fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stupid morning fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for the weird quotation marks, but my word keeps changing them and idk (that's what you do in polish fyi)  
> also this was supposed to be smut, but i got too embarrassed

Sebastian woke up with a soft groan, stretching out his back before looking at his boss, who surprisingly, was still asleep. He scooted over next to the small brunet and placed a small peck on his neck, dragging his lips lazily across his pale skin. He liked this. He liked how domestic their mornings were, when Jim went to bed late the previous night. He would probably sleep in way after Sebastian, if the sniper let him. Unfortunately for Jim, his sleep was almost always interrupted with a shower, or rather a drizzle of kisses and tender touches.

„Seb,” he heard an adorable sigh coming from the Jim, as he rolled on the other side. The blond beamed and shifted a bit, wrapping his arm around the smaller man’s waist and spooning him.

„Yes, boss?”

„Leave m’lone,” he slurred and habitually pushed back into the warmth.

Sebastian snickered at that and led his lips back to Jim’s neck, kissing it softly while his hands stroked the delicate skin underneath his fingers. He was never going to leave his boss alone. Maybe it made him sound like a soppy bastard, but to hell with that. Jim didn’t like it when Sebastian behaved like a juvenile moron, but he couldn’t stop him from thinking how he would love to wrap his arms around his boss and just cuddle until they fell asleep. Well, he could stop thinking about that, but when he did, his mind drifted off to the images of Jim bent over just about anywhere. Kitchen, bathroom, elevator. Name it, and I can assure you that it has occured to him at least once. Sebastian just couldn’t keep his boss out of his mind. Ever.

„Come and play with me,” he murmured, kissing Jim’s hair tenderly and tracing his fingers on the small of his back.

„Hmpf, mornin’ breath. No way I’m kissing that.”


	3. Accordion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter for my lovely Tony (cumber-sass.tumblr.com) <3

„Sebby?”  
  
„Hm?”  
  
„Who’s this?”  
  
„Who’s who?”

„This,” Jim scooted over to Sebastian and held up a photograph up to the sniper’s nose „who’s this, Sebby?”

The blond squinted his eyes a little as he lifted them from his rifle, which he had been cleaning for the past half an hour, but he just shrugged when he didn’t recognise the child from the photograph.

„Dunno, where’d you find it?” he asked without sparing the paper another glance and got back to his work.

„I found it in the box signed  _DO NOT TOUCH OR ELSE I WILL CUT YOUR HANDS OFF, JIM_. Underlined and capitalized,” said the small brunet theatrically and laughed a little as he looked at the other side of the photo. „It says here that it’s just little tiger cub. Nothing important.”

Sebastian launched over from his seat as soon as he processed Jim’s words. „No!” He shouted and grabbed the photo violently, almost ripping it in half in the process. „I’m going to murder you, Jim!” He threatened and held the photo tight to his chest. He knew that he could never kill his boss, but hell, he wanted to do so at that particular moment. He could stand mocking, biting and all the other shit Jim made him put up with, but tampering with his childhood photos? That was crossing the line.

Even though Sebastian’s childhood didn’t count as the happiest one, he still loved popping open his little box and going through all the photos he had there. Now, not only did Jim have a perfect opportunity to mock the sniper, but he also gained another thing to blackmail him with, if he ever wanted to do so.

„Ohhh, touchy!” Jim laughed with great amusement and somehow managed to snatch the photo up from the sniper’s grip. „Oh, you’re so cute in here. Didn’t know you could play the accordion!” he said with a smirk as he jumped away to the other side of the sofa, taking in the beauty of the picture. „Gorgeous, little tiger. Are those freckles? _So_ adorable!”

That was it. That was the final straw. Sebastian launched over at Jim and tackled him, so he was sitting on top of the smaller man.

„Give it back!” he demanded, as Jim made his best to keep it away from the blond. „I said give it back! I’m not kidding!”

„Not a chance!”  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i added that photo in the chapter so i wouldn't have to post a link  
> yes, that's little sebastian  
> (and small fass at the same time!)  
> i'll post fluff and maybe some smut tomorrow (as a continuation of this chapter)  
> i had a glorious idea for this, but my brother interrupted me and everything has gone to shit  
> fml


	4. will be smut later

i'll post smut here later   
when i'm not embarrassed  
possibly soon   
sorry D:


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> easter dumbness for y'all

„Bastian, I’m home!” Jim called out as he pushed through the front door, holding a big box against his chest tightly, so as not to drop it. He moved to the kitchen and set it on top of the island with a sigh of relief. 

„Basher?” he called out again and quirked his brow curiously. „I’ve got a surprise for you!”

Sebastian let out an irritated groan from over one of the rifles as he heard the other man’s voice again. He absolutely hated leaving his work unfinished, especially when it came to his guns. Jim caused him to neglect his ‘babies’ already, so every spare second he got had to be devoted just to them. The sniper put the muzzle break down along with the piece of cloth he had been cleaning it with and reluctantly pulled himself off the chair. 

„I’m a little busy,” he said as he stepped into the kitchen and noticed the wayward grin on his boss. 

„And I have something for you, darling.”

„Let me guess, it’s another target?” he said with a small shrug and poured himself a glass of water before turning back to Jim, who stepped aside to reveal a box that he’d been hiding behind his back. So that probably wasn’t his target. Just probably. 

„You’re always so quick to judge, Tiger. I could’ve come to you in a bunny costume and you would just assume I want you to fuck me,” he said with a roll of his eyes „which is what I probably would have wanted, but let’s pretend I just wanted to dress up like that!”

„You’re being ridiculous,” Sebastian barked a laugh and set his glass aside, before stepping closer to get the box.

„A-a-a! No touchy touchy!” Jim quickly stepped in front of him, blocking him from reaching the surprise. „I’ll do it myself,” he said with a grin and turned around to open the carton. 

He tugged at the pasteboard and revealed five, little and incredibly fluffy rabbits. Way too fluffy for Sebastian's liking.

„What the fuck is that, Jim?”

„Bunnies!”

„You’re fucking mental.”

„I wanted to get chicks, but thought that they would poop all over the place!”

„Don’t be absurd, girls don’t poop.”

„You’re a moron, Moran.”


End file.
